I have had the same leather belt for I don’t know how long. It’s good quality leather and has taken the brunt of my on again, off again diet and exercise escapades. Escapades. A great word. Must use it more often. Anyway, this belt has seen better days and guess what folks? It’s on the last notch and my pants are fighting gravity daily.
I just bought a new belt but I haven’t used it yet. It’s one of those belts that will work with me no matter what my waist does. Its design has holes around the entire thing, but I got a medium so if I wear it today, it will be a little on the tight side as the first possible slot for me to use is a smidge short of being comfortable. I am waiting to drop another half-inch before I put it on but in the mean time, I am hiking up my pants every two seconds.
It’s aggravating but at the same time, satisfying. Yes, my pants are too big, my belt is too big and for now, I like it. I know you know what I mean because as soon as I get pants in a smaller size, they will be a smidge tight. And then I’ll feel fat, blah blah. That’s why so many people hang on to their fat clothes. Comfort.
At the same time though, I risk looking frumpy and you can only tighten up loose pants so much before you achieve the paper bag look. I hate buying clothes though. When I was thin, I bought from a catalog. It was easy and fast and no one had to look at me and I didn’t have to look at myself. These days, I HAVE to try stuff on and usually whatever I try on looks hideous. It’s the truth. Maybe that won’t be my reality for long but for now it is, and that is what propels me forward.
That leads me to the exercise part. Today’s walk was a jog/walk and to be honest, it wasn’t too bad. These days I am fueled by frustration. You use what you can to get you out of bed and on the road and so I am grateful that I have plenty of shit to pull from. My thighs rub. Hate that. Use it as fuel. Everything jiggles. Hate that even more. Use it as fuel. I’ve got loads of stuff to burn. Seriously.
What fuels you?