A Long and Narrow Road

Here, the struggle begins, one step at a time.


New Kicks: Starting Up Again

New Kicks
It’s been so long since I’ve walked that I’ve lost count of the weeks. It’s been months and if you count the fall down the stairs and the recovery needed for that, then it’s probably been about three months. Hang on… according to Runkeeper it’s been two and a half months! Not quite as long as I thought but it sure felt like I’ve been away from it forever.

It’s the same old story. I got bored and lost my motivation. When I hurt both legs, I had an “out” but with both legs injured, you sure appreciate the mere act of walking and so while I was recovering, I was also slowly trying to build-up the mental part of it so I’d be ready to start walking as soon as I could.

Was I ready? No. So I purchased some new shoes and still, this morning I looked at them and thought I might even take them back. I seriously thought that. Sometimes, I frustrate even myself. I put ’em on and headed out the door and most of it was okay. I limped a tiny bit at the end but I expected that. I kept a normal pace but didn’t go as far as I had hoped. But I went!

I am not much of a goal maker, as you might know by now but I do hope to do it again tomorrow.

Oh and I can’t lie, the shoes did help.


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Still Breathing

I have a friend who blogs about her struggles with activity too, and she posted today which reminded me that I have not posted in a really long time.

I am still here but not currently walking or doing much of anything. On May 2nd, I pulled a muscle in my leg while SITTING at a track meet. I know, how does such a thing happen? But because my leg was all gimpy and useless, the very next day, I fell down some stairs and injured my other leg. We all thought it was broken but it wasn’t. The doctor said it will take about eight weeks total to heal so I am down for at least another four weeks.

Yep, this is a good excuse and all but before the injury I was already doing battle with myself about my lack of activity. I swear. It is a constant struggle for me. I know that people who are fit often work their asses off to be that way and I know if they read my blog they’d just be frustrated with me but it’s the best I can do.

I make good choices on the eating front but once you get past the age of forty, eating well isn’t enough. Right now, I am letting the legs heal and then I will start over again and maybe I will have a little more success this time. Even with my patchy history, I’ve had good periods sometimes lasting a year or more. Just not this year!


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Still Skipping Along

It’s not Friday, but I want it to be.

So far this week, I have walked every day. I am not going very fast and still have a bad attitude about it but hey, I’ve been walking. I think the weather is helping. The mornings are pleasantly cool. I really love all of the smells I encounter on my morning walks. The orange grove smells delicious in the morning so I always try to work my way through it whenever possible. This entire week, I have just picked a direction and taken off. Normally, I stick to a certain route but I am so bored with that route and with GPS tracking, it really doesn’t matter where I go because my app keeps track of it.

I went up, down, left and right and today, my app glitched out when I walked through a building and didn’t catch-up when I came out. Distance wise, I think it did but the map displayed, shows me never coming back! It’s as if I fell off the planet. Pretty funny actually.

Since Monday, I have lost 5lbs. All bloat, I’m sure. I packed sensible lunches all week and have been trying to drink water again. I usually have no problem drinking water but I get side-tracked with work and forget to drink it. I am making a conscious effort to stop and drink.

Here is my reminder for you, drink some water now. Go ahead, I’ll wait.




There, did you have some? So did I.

I probably won’t be back until next week so have a great weekend and try to get out! I will be at an all-day track meet on Saturday. Watching my ten-year-old run her pants off is very motivating to me. I really wish I had been more active as a child.



Party Time!

I wish it WAS time to party.

If I had stuck to the plan, by now I’d be a much fitter person but the reality of it is this, I suck. I suck at losing weight and I suck at exercising even more.

You already knew this about me.

I’ve never been one to promise anything but I thought I’d at least be able to stick to the “one step at a time” thing. But then it got cold and I got tired and then something in my personal life went helter skelter.

The excuses that I cooked up for myself are many. All true, of course but none of them really warranted a complete stop to the production line.

What do I have to show for it? TEN extra pounds. No joke. So today I dusted off the scale and recorded my true weight. Not the weight I thought I was based on the notches in my belt, but my true weight. I wrote it down. I packed my sensible lunch of grilled salmon and kale salad and I hit the pavement. Again.

It did feel good to start walking again but every other step, I found myself grimacing.  I wasn’t in pain, I think I was just crabby but those that encountered me mid-grimace steered clear of me so I must have been a sight.

What’s in store for me tomorrow? More of the same.

How about you? I hope you are doing better than I am.




Back in the Saddle

After a long break, I decided to hit the road again. I didn’t really feel like doing it and mentally, I am not 100% sure I can stick to it, but I donned the clothes and shoes this morning and headed out. At least I LOOKED serious. Honestly though, I felt horrible. I took my normal route but ended up cutting it short a little because of  a slight limp. It amazes me how much you lose when you take a break:

Stamina. I didn’t push myself all that hard and yet, I felt sluggish and my stride was awkward. Even by the end of the loop, I felt as if I was staggering along.

Motivation. I lost my motivation right around the half mile mark. I think I was just disappointed in myself. Taking that break felt good at the time but it didn’t feel good this morning as I struggled through what should have been a super easy walk.

Flexibility. Whatever flexibility I gained last fall was lost by taking the break that I did. I sort of felt like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. I could have used a squirt of oil to get  my limbs moving.

This is a lesson that I’ve learned before but for whatever reason, I tend to return to my bad habits. It’s easier to give up. In fact, it takes no effort to just stop what you are doing. But the “getting back on the horse” thing is brutal! You’d think I’d just keep going to avoid it. After all, I am a sensible person and don’t always take the easy way out, but when it comes to exercise, I seem to have other plans.

All I can do is try. So, that is what I am doing. Trying. Again.

And, I am okay with it.

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End of the Year Sludge

It’s been so long since I’ve posted. I figured I’d better pop in to let you know that I am still here. I’ve been on vacation since December 18th and won’t be back to work for a few more weeks. Vacations are wonderful but they wreak havoc on the schedule.

Sleep patterns are off, both for me and the kids. Exercise? Non-existent. Food? Sure, there have been some indulgences but I have not been all that into food this holiday season. I am sporting an extra couple of pounds but I chalk that up to inflammation as I haven’t been taking my lupus meds as I should either.

Like I said, the routine is way off. But, along with the new year, I hope to get back into the swing of things over the next couple of days. The weather has been mild which makes for good walking weather. I have no excuses.

Hope you are all good and that the holidays treated you well. See you in the new year!


Motivation – Where Did It Go?

I can’t blame Thanksgiving. It’s an eating and cooking frenzy but to be honest, this year I wasn’t into the food. I cooked it but I didn’t eat much of it. Not nearly as much as I normally do. I tend to really look forward to holidays that center around food because I love food. Or, I used to. Being gluten-free has really killed my taste buds. The plus side? I didn’t go overboard and I was walking to offset anything I did eat (or drink).

However, since then… nothing has been happening on the exercise front. My motivation is not entirely gone but it’s waning. Much of it has to do with the weather. It’s been very cold for Southern California and extremely windy. Really, if I bundled up, it wouldn’t be too cold to walk in, but with everything flying around it’s not been good walking weather.

Ironically, my body tends to lose weight when I stop exercising so even though I haven’t walked for ten days, I have lost an additional five lbs. That REALLY makes it hard. I mean, I lose weight when doing nothing? Wha??

So I am not the pillar of perfection today. Was I ever? But I wanted to stop by and tell you all that I have been a useless slug and that I am allowing this behavior through the end of this week, and then will transition to some other activity if the weather continues like this. I really hate the gym and I am not fond of people in general so group stuff bugs me. Anyway, I’ll post an update soon.

What have you all been doing? It’s been freezing cold all over the country. How do you manage exercise when it’s so cold outside?